Getting with J-girls

This segment focuses the third CD of Brian Tracy's classic 6-CD Psychology of Achievement program. (If you obtain this program, get the 6-CD version not the 1-CD version. Ignore the touchy-feely stuff if it bothers you; it's not critical to the rest of the material.)

Tracy mentions that building new habits take 10 to 21 days. That goes for breaking old habits, too. In other words, once you get past that first 10-21 days you won't need much effort to continue that way.

The most powerful idea in this CD is visualization. Now I've discussed this before in Eat Dessert First, and Tracy explains why it works and elaborates on more things you can do.

Brian Tracy does NOT say, "You have a bank account. You've chosen not to access it for all these years, for whatever reason. What you didn't understand was that instead of cash, this bank account has pussy. It pays interest in pussy and yields pussy dividends." But it would funny if he had.

One of the most powerful changes you can make:

Resolve that, before you get to sex, you are not especially intelligent, you are not especially funny, you are not cultured, you are not rich... you have the least possible number of noteworthy positive characteristics NOT related to sex.

What you ARE is manly, confident, sexual, tempting, discreet, passionate... all the things that women think of when they think of hot sex and making out.

Basic Rule: If hot, steamy sex/kissing and "X" don't go together, absolutely do NOT present the "X" side of you until after the first sex, even if that side of you is something good.

For example, can you think of hot, steamy sex in the same thought as a funny joke? If you can, does the joke diminish the power of the sexual image? If so, save it until after you've had sex with her for the first time.

As you're meeting someone, you can only present a few sides of you. Present only the sides that are consistent with hot, passionate kissing and sex.

Now I know there are some hard-headed guys out there who will need this point nailed into them over and over again before they get it. This goes against just about every message society and even "pickup advice" columns send nowadays, but let me assure you it's one of the simplest and most powerful contrarian bits of tech-wisdom you'll ever find.

Most guys don't realize that their wealth, their car, their nice apartment, their high-status job, their intelligence, and so on are actually making things so much harder for them. Or rather, the fact that they emphasize these things holds them back.

This is a tough one to parse, because in fact some of these things actually do help in terms of providing opportunities to meet certain high-class women. Opportunities do matter, but they are not nearly as important as how people perceive you.

This gets even more insidious when you take into account golddiggers and other women taken to shallow endeavors with men. Occasionally some girls will even fuck for money, dinners, status... But this is not the life I hope you're after. This is a depressing life filled with high-priced prostitutes, IF by some miracle things actually go that smoothly. Most guys fall in love with such women and end up ruining themselves in short order, even if they started out wealthy and sane.

Back to the point: these things HURT you, not help you. Think of truly hot sex and passion - the very thick of the fray of the act itself - where does money, status, culture, or Mercedes fit into that picture? They simply do not.

This is not to say "present yourself as a poor, underclass, lout" - all those things ALSO detract from the image of passionate making out and sex. Are you guys getting the picture yet? Let me spell it out for you once again:

You want to be UNREMARKABLE in every way, EXCEPT as related to PASSIONATE KISSING AND SEX. In aspects directly related to sex, you leave a deep impression on her.

The results of this are that, in her mind,

YOU = SEX

and nothing else special of note. Nothing else to distract from that singular image. Counterintuitive as it may be, "sexual" is always better than "sexual and rich." She remembers you as the passionate one, the tempting one, the manly one, the hot one, the one who knows what he wants and goes for it, the one who rocks women's worlds, the one who is in control, the one who is sexually experienced, the one who makes no excuse for his desires when the time comes, the one who is ready and able when her need strikes.

There will be plenty of time to get to know all sides of each other after the animal lust side of things is out of the way. Before that, focus on the passionate aspects only. Simple!

P.S., once you get to the first sex, you can drop this whole thing if you want to. It's simply a tool for raising the chances to get to sex, after which - as I always talk about - you generally have broad choice to lead the relationship in whatever way you choose.

P.P.S., Note once again that although all this looks like it's aimed at guys who just want sex, nothing could be further from the truth. The fastest, surest, most secure, and strongest path to love is through fast sex. You'll never see a girl fall in love as hard or as deep as she does for a man who takes her sooner and better than anyone else ever has. This is just biology. We don't make the rules, but we ought to learn to work with them. If you have instinctive mental or moral opposition to the this basic fact, take the time to think this through and investigate. If you're at all skeptical of this fact, this investigation is not optional. Sooner or later you'll have to face this fact and come to grips with it. Only then can you gain real control over your interactions with women.

This one will be shorter as I have little time to write today. This concerns the "lack of grudges and other emotional baggage" listed at the base (the most important part) of the pyramid.

Following along with the Psychology of Achievement**, on the second CD (Accepting Reponsibility and Taking Charge), Tracy discusses "releasing your brakes" which I have covered before. I again recommend this series in the strongest possible terms. There is literally no one who would not benefit tremendously from listening to it, even those that have already done so. It's simply the best overall life success program ever conceived, and has stood the test of time.

The CD and my previous posts cover this "releasing your brakes" stuff pretty well, but I want to emphasize that this is not any kind of "optional" thing that "might" help you. It unequivocally will help you, and in fact it is essential for this stuff to work as a whole.

Specifically, your life will suck if you somehow learn how to get with many fine women but it exposes all kinds of internal sicknesses in you, and success is very unlikely to happen anyway under those conditions.

You want to rid yourself of these encumbrances first to make a clear launching pad.

Here we are talking about the most common UNSEEN issues that guys who are trying to learn pickup walk around with for years without ever knowing what's really holding them back.

And let's get one thing straight: YOU CANNOT FORCE YOUR WAY INTO SUCCESS. You cannot simply ignore underlying issues, like holding grudges against women or men, or blaming others for your failures so far. The issues will not go away. They WILL come back to bite you. The "fake it 'til you make it" idea just doesn't stretch that far.

Even if you manage to meet with some kind of success, it will not cover over these negativity issues for long, and you'll find yourself either retrogressing or going down an even darker path. Look at Mystery - there is a man who's underlying issues were never solved, yet he reached success in terms of women, money, and fame. In the sense that I'm talking about now, he "forced" his way to "success." But would I trade places with him? Not a chance. He's not HAPPY, which is the point of all of this in the first place. He fucks models, but has severe clininal depression and all sorts of mental issues that I don't even want to imagine how they impinge on his sexual and romantic relations. That's not success in my book.

I am all about building success from the ground up.

Real confidence, real sincerity, real understanding of women, real ability to connect at a deep level without encumbrance...THEN can come the really effective techniques.

More and more I realize it's not the techniques as much as the foundation that have made me successful. Building from the ground up is the fastest and surest way to success with women. That's something you won't hear from most, but it's the truth. It really doesn't take long for most guys anyway. 3-6 months is all most guys need to make order-of-magnitude improvements. If you have deep-rooted issues it could take longer, but nowhere near the 2-3 years "pickup community" guys seem to typically take. And you'll be a lot happier when you get there, and able to handle all types of relationship situations and make deep and rewarding connections with great women. Yes, you can have it all. The marketing hucksters are the ones who try to break the lessons into watered-down, packaged units so you're always left needing more product, always seemingly one step away from success, for years...and years...

**IMPORTANT NOTE: Those interested in the Psychology of Achievement should get or download the 6-CD set, NOT the shorter 2-hour version. And don't worry about the touchy-feely stuff as it can be safely ignored - separate the wheat from the chaff on your own.

Someone asked me, if I could only give a newbie ONE brief maxim on how to be successful with women, what would it be? After some thought I replied:

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"The better you sexually satisfy women, the better women you'll be able to sexually satisfy."
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It's like how in business the more money you make, the better your new opportunities to make money become.

This is an iron law, applicable to all cases. Even take a below-average woman and pour your heart and soul into sexually satisfying her. The rule still applies, which means you'll automatically - by iron law - improve your ability to get more desirable women.

So the shortest set of instructions on how a newbie can be successful with women is:

1) Get a girl - any girl - and go crazy sexually satisfying her

2) Use the additional sexual confidence to get better girls and satisfy them more.

3) Repeat step 2 infinitely.

Your sexual confidence will fuel your effort, which will drive your results, which will further spur your sexual confidence to meet and seduce more women - automatically. It's a virtuous cycle. The wealth of experience you gain in the process of interacting with so many women will teach you the lessons you need to know to succeed more. This is one self-perpetuating loop, forged of self-discipline and driven by love for women, that you can always rely on to push you upward rapidly as long as you stay focused. Any questions?

(The Foundations series will be continuing fairly soon.)

This new Foundations pickup series is here by popular demand based on my previous contentions that the basics of pickup are the most important and the most overlooked. It is modeled around Brian Tracy's "The Psychology of Achievement" 1982 audio program, which I believe to be the finest work every created for personal development. Indirectly it also happens to be the very best "general instruction manual" you could ever have for what people often call your "inner game." I encourage everyone to order it or find it somewhere if it's still in print - it's the one outside product I will stake my reputation on and always stand behind as I have for the past 18 years.

This series will draw heavily from the principles in Brian Tracy's powerful program and show how to successfully apply them to pickup and seduction. It will without a doubt be the most important and helpful series of posts in this blog to date, even if the topics may look unsexy. Make no mistake, this is where the big power lies. This is the bedrock that underpins all the rest of the stuff I've ever written about.


First of all, I want to point out that pickup is about positive, healthy sexual and emotional expression. I don't believe pickup is ultimately worthwhile if it leads you toward less health and less positivity, and does the same to others. Always making other people feel more positive and be more healthy is where it's at.

Why do I keep mentioning the word "health"? That bland word that conjures up textbook admonitions to eat three balanced meals every day, get a good night's sleep, do your aerobics and eat your veggies!? No, it's much more exciting than that, because I don't just mean "healthy" in the normal sense, but in every sense. A positive outlook, high energy, self-discipline, unbridled sexual lust, peace of mind, lack of insecurities, and all other aspects of physical and mental well-being. Is this not why we have sex? Is this not the gift we want to give to the women we encounter?

If you aren't doing pickup to become happier and make others happier -- and I'd say the best measure of happiness is health as I've defined it above -- then why do pickup?

This isn't just something I'm saying you should care about, but something that will actually affect your performance in the field and in bed more than any other single factor.

So let's go back to the Pickup Success Pyramid and look at how we can build the very most basic, most important part of that pyramid. This is the very bottom line on the bottom slap of the pyramid, reading "Self-esteem/confidence (general) + lack of grudges and other emotional baggage." Today we'll cover only the self-esteem part of that, as high self-esteem and a healthy personality are really part and parcel of each other.

REPOST OF THIS DIAGRAM FROM EARLIER POST (note that it's like the Food Guide Pyramid, where the foundation is most important and the tip is least important):



The famous achievement psychologist and success coach Brian Tracy gave an easy test for how healthy your personality is. He said a person "has a healthy personality to the exact degree to which they have a propensity to look for the good in every situation." He went on to say, "Those with the healthiest personality can naturally and without effort get along with the greatest number of different kinds of people."

This is an honest, reliable, objective yardstick for measuring how healthy your personality is. So here's the question: "How often do you naturally tend to look for the good in situations?" And if you'd like another measure, "How many people can you naturally get along with without having to make an effort?" Don't think about this now if you don't want to...you'll naturally remember it sometime after you read this, when a relevant situation arises. At that time it will show it's truth and relevance.

This measure is so effective that you can literally go back over the course of your life and graph how healthy your personality was at different times in your life. All you have to do is remember that time in your life and ask yourself how you were responding to neutral things.

For example, when you see a new ice cream flavor in Japan - salt and milk flavor - are you more likely to think, "Why does all ice cream have to have such insipid flavors?" (accompanied by a slight negative sensation) or would you tend to get a little laugh out of it? (slight positive sensation). It's really pretty simple: it's whether you focus more on the positive or more on the negative aspects of things. Or, do you get along with people without having to make much effort? What kinds of people don't you get along with? Do you find yourself being able to get along with fewer and fewer people recently? Or more and more?

The natural wear-and-tear of life and of pickup will drain you bit by bit. As Tracy says, the mind is like a garden, in which weeds or flowers can grow. But weeds grow automatically, without any encouragement, fertilizer or anything. So if we do not consciously and deliberately plant flowers, weeds will automatically tend to crop up, and - if left untended - will start to take hold and eventually choke out everything else.

The weeds are negative habit patterns, negative thought patterns, cynical beliefs, grudges against people, insecurities, etc., and they lead to every kind of unhealthiness in your personality.

A mental garden with as few weeds as possible is the very bedrock of healthy, successful pickup in every possible sense.

Even an experienced pickup master, who has had a very healthy personality in the past, can get taken over by these unwanted pests over time and before they're aware of it. So a "weeding" is necessary from time to time, for everyone, no matter who you are. And I'll tell you right now that 99.99% of people would benefit handsomely from this weeding process if they stopped everything and did it right now. But we'll cover that next time.

For today I'd like to talk about self-esteem. Self-esteem is the very core of personality. It's a measure of how much you like and respect yourself. It's exactly what determines how healthy your personality is, and by extension it precedes and paramaterizes every element of your pickup performance.

Some people confuse high self-esteem with arrogance, conceit or vanity. This is a confusion, and in fact nothing could be further from the truth. Arrogance, vanity and conceit are actually the result of low self-esteem. The truly high self-esteem person does not have the insecurity that would lead him or her to hold others in contempt or have the need to prove themselves as better than others, or even to think about or care if they are better than others.

They are 100% secure in themselves. And that is why, as Tracy points out, people with high self-esteem ONLY manifest it in positive, healthy interactions with other people. And that includes pickup and sexual interactions.

And self-esteem is even more connected to pickup than that. It not only is the very heart of the self-confidence (including sexual confidence!) that forms the foundation for pickup confidence, it also determines how much you are able to like or love another person. To again quote Tracy, "It is impossible to like or love another person any more than we like or love ourselves." In other words, a low-self-esteem person is really incapable of giving much love or liking. They are too insecure in themselves to do so, and when they get into relationships they may fall deeply in infatuation, but that's not love as much as it is the need for security.

There are plenty of folks out there who just HAVE to be in a relationship, and that is - I think - the reason why they often have trouble staying in relationships. They are coming from a place of emptiness and need to fill that loneliness with something. They have low self-esteem, so they are not capable of giving so much -- only taking, so the relationship becomes fragile. Most commonly, they "wet blanket" the other person a little too much and then either get in fights or simply repulse their partner in some way. This only drives their self-esteem lower, and it can be a vicious cycle.

Make every effort to engage in activities on a regular basis that raise your own self-esteem. Any activity, in which you seriously engage, that moves you closer to a goal you consider truly important and worthwhile will build your self-esteem. One person's activities might be: hanglider piloting lessons, steps toward career advancement, study of something relevant to his personal or career goals, practicing giving speeches, working out, meeting with an important contact, fixing bad habits, building new good habits, learning new sexual techniques, eating cleaner food, or even just giving more effort in the things he already does. Spend time focused on what is relevant for YOU and your own goals based on what you value in life.

Another important thing is that it's impossible to build someone else's self-esteem up without building yours to the same degree, and impossible to tear someone else's self-esteem down without tearing your own down just as much. I know it doesn't seem this way at first: it can feel "good" in a way to shoot someone off their high horse. But really...how do you feel at those times? I mean really, really deep down. The answer has to be that the only reason you would feel "good" about tearing someone down is that you perceived them as a threat, and that is based in insecurity deep down. Of course if you see an injustice and you right that injustice (such as stopping someone from doing evil to someone else), you can feel good about that, but feeling "good" about hurting anyone is always bad, even if that person you hurt was a bad person.

I know I'm speaking in idealistic terms as if we're all saints here, and I myself am no 100% healthy personality and I have plenty of negative habits and things that can plague me sometimes. The point is not to say that you have to be perfect, but that knowing what you're aiming for and doing your best to get there is going to be the very best thing for your seduction and life with women.

So now we've seen that self-esteem is the core of your personality, of your interactions with women, and it regulates how much you can even truly like or love someone! In fact, to quote Tracy again, when your self-esteem goes up, "your ability to perform in every single area of your life goes up simultaneously."

Everyone can always use more self-esteem. Some people challenge me on that, but that is because they are misinterpreting self-esteem for arrogance or self-conceit. Arrogance is, again, merely an expression of insecurity, rooted in low self-esteem. It's not the same as liking yourself at all, and this is an absolutely critical distinction to grasp. A super-high self-esteem guy will not be arrogant at all. Such people are pretty hard to find, but they do seem to exist.

And notice that the rest of the bottom - most important - slab of the Pickup Success Pyramid is also underpinned by self-esteem. Self-esteem gives you self-discipline, motivation, and even sexual confidence. Experience of course helps, but to prove for example that high self-esteem helps with sexual confidence is just simple logic: Tendency to look for the good in everything leads to the majority of one's thoughts being positive. They are continually in a positive state. Well, horniness is a positive state; it's fundamentally a feeling of sexual optimism if you really notice how you feel when you're horny. You betcha that helps keep you hard when you need it! After all, the No. 1 cause of erectile dysfunction is insecurity, and high self-esteem simply doesn't allow those irrational insecurities to crop up.

To get a bit technical, there are actually mini-self-concepts for every area in your life that you consider important. You have a self-concept of how good you are at playing piano (if you play and it's important to you), how good of a driver you are, how good a dresser, and - germane to this blog - how good you are at pickup, sex, and relationship management. How much do you like yourself as a seducer? As a storyteller? As a giver of squirting orgasms and oral sex? All of these mini-self-concepts are fed into by your overall self-esteem, and they all feed back into your overall self-esteem at the same time.

So if you improve in an important area of your life, you'll draw more self-esteem from that as the days and weeks go by. Naturally, because now you can like and respect yourself more, now that you've made a leap forward in something you consider to be important. You feel more like a winner in that area that is important to you, so you feel more like a winner in life in general.

And likewise, that spills over to every other area of life. It is that natural, hard-to-pin-down concept of "overall confidence." The man who approaches everything in life with more gusto, more confidence that he'll eventually get it right, more flexibility, more enjoyment of the process and no worry about failure. It's that unquantifiable phenomenon of how when you sometimes just feel confident, you inexplicably do better at everything you try. You speak better at a foreign language you're studying, play sports better, massage better, tell a story better, have better sex, etc. Ever wondered what that mysterious force was and how to maximize it? This is it.

So anyway the big question is, how do we get more of it? How do we get higher self-esteem? By engaging in activities that we consider to be sincerely worthwhile and valuable - those activities that move us toward our major goals and give us a sense of purpose and mission.

Even if we improve in areas that are not pickup-related, if they are important aspects of life for us, we gain general self-esteem and it spills over to give us extra confidence in pickup as well - to the exact degree to which we feel that skill area we improved in is important. That's why you always want to have things going on in your life besides pickup. You know, take pride in your job even if you're stuck in it. And if you really want out, take definite steps to get another one. Work on your other goals. Moving toward any goal you consider worthwhile is guaranteed to boost your self-esteem. The more worthwhile you consider it, the greater the boost.

So it comes down to this: How much time and energy do you devote each day to moving toward your goals, and how much time do you waste? Ample recreation and relaxation is fine, of course, but ideally each day you want to be making substantive steps toward some of your major life goals.

And because pickup is about interactions with people, your interpersonal goals are especially relevant. For example, one of my big goals for the next few months is to be more friendly to random people I encounter, like shop staff, to make everyone feel happier even from a brief interaction with me. Knowing I'm making the world a happier place makes me feel good. And this isn't just a touchy-feely thing, because knowing I'm making people happier makes me like and respect myself more = higher self-esteem. And it ALSO makes me like and respect myself more as a person who makes others happy, which adds a turbocharge to my pickup because I know now - deep down - that every new woman I encounter is now more likely to benefit from being with me. Because I know I'm committed to making people's lives happier, whether by giving shop staff a little lift with a warm smile or by giving a hot J-girl the time of her life in an environment where she is sure not to get attached to me but just to enjoy some great times and feel better about herself and sexier as she moves through the rest of her life.

So determine what you value in life and set long- and short-term goals based on those top values. And make a habit of looking for the good in situations, staying healthy in all aspects of your being, and building the self-esteem of other people as well, because that will raise your self esteem to the same degree every time.

This self-esteem and "inner game" stuff may not look all that sexy, but more and more I realize it truly has been that hidden element that has driven my success from the beginning. When I would teach other guys and they still couldn't always do what I could do, I realized that this inner aspect - so obvious and integral to me that I'd previously overlooked it - had been the missing link.

So I say unto the community, a pickup artist does not have to be like what you imagine he has to be, or like you read in books, see in movies, or hear on the Top 40. He can - and I believe is obligated by his position of power to be - a force for good and for making the world a more peaceful and happy place. After all, like a president of a nation, the fate of many rests in your hands and you'll be touching a lot of lives. Make sure you're making a big positive difference. If you don't believe a seducer can be a force for good, if you believe seduction is about selfishly taking advantage of women for your own sexual pleasure, I don't think you're gonna be happy in this lifestyle. Being evil and using people is never good, and there is no exception just because it's this amazing and unconventional art of seduction.

Said another way, the reason I became good at this stuff is because I was determined - when I discovered that such powerful tools existed to win the hearts and sexual drives of women - to find a way to use them for good and not for selfish aims. I wrestled and wrestled with the concepts in my mind and I was unwilling to become a seducer if it would be mean I was going to be hurting people in the end, or even if it would preclude me from giving women tons of pleasure - as that is the whole point of this endeavor.

After much study, I did find a way. Much to my surprise, I found it was possible to have wild sex with many women and also "leave them better than you found them." And later I would learn that, in fact, if I ever started not leaving them better than I found them the whole thing would grind to a halt and of course I would become unhappy myself, as I could no longer like and respect myself, because I would no longer be making people happier.

So, dear reader, please stay with me as I cover from the ground up, everything you need to know to create a healthy, positive, happy lifestyle with wonderful women you really enjoy and who really enjoy you.

Stay tuned for Part 2, where I will cover how to clear your mind garden of weeds - harking back to the Release Your Brakes post I made back in the Spring.

Until then, I wish best success to all of you.

This series fits into the category of "fundamental knowledge and understanding of the principles of pickup" as explained here: http://amanojack.your-japan.com/post/22/421

I'll stop here for now - enjoy the last part of the series on how to phsyically escalate. Remember, your questions determine what I cover so ask away about any fine points you want. Without further ado...

You've said you like to use massage. Where does that come in?

Massage is incredibly powerful in physical escalation, especially in combination with storytelling, patterning, earlobe stimulation (see below) or other techniques. Anyone who can massage well can get some uncannily fast lays this way! I use it as a fallback (albeit an extremely good one) when I can't get to the kiss fast enough. Massage is a whole big topic of its own, but note that it is not anchored touch really. It's just an incredible sexual accelerator (closing technique) that brazenly shortcuts through a good 2/3 of the seduction. Oh, and did I mention it can be used in the first 10 minutes sometimes? More on that another time.

What do I do if I make a mistake with the physical escalation and she reacts badly?

First of all, if you ever notice a bad reaction, no matter how slight, you know that your anchor is broken and you need to go back and re-establish it. If you're near the kiss, you can get away with slightly more, but at the very least back up several steps.

What's the Frog-On-A-Hotplate Principle?

If you put a frog on a hotplate and increase the heat slowly, apparently it'll never try to jump off until it's already fried. That's kind of grotesque, but the lesson is that people, too, can be induced into compliance with unexpected things if the escalation is gradual enough. There are examples of this everywhere in life.

It's important to note that GRADUAL does not need to mean SLOW. It can mean "going very quickly and diligently through many small steps." It can even mean skipping steps if the you can read the situation very well. It also means you never miss a chance to advance when it is clearly presented. In summary, skipping steps when you can't is bad, skipping steps when you can is good, advancing to the next step as soon as you get the chance is essential. This all depends of course on your ability to read the situation and her reactions. This comes partly from experience and partly from a correct understanding of women and seduction. The first part is your responsibility; the second part is mine.

A good example is the classic escalation point of "moving your hand up her leg." Guys'll lay a hand on her near the knee and slowly inch up. Now this an example of ONLY using the Frog-On-A-Hotplate Principle. We can do MUCH better.

For example, adding rhythmic motion advancing and retreating blurs the boundaries of where the hand is, making it harder for her to monitor its exact position and therefore obscuring its advancement. She wants it to move up, but she doesn't want to notice it moving up. It would be like if you cyclically increased the heat on the frog - then you could fry it faster than a steady heat increase because it would be used to small rapid heat increases happening, reliably followed by cooling.

And we of course are talking and making eye contact and doing other things to distract her attention from the touch escalation, at least until we hit the tipping point. The frog doesn't notice the heat building because it is distracted. Beyond that, we are anchoring it, like making the heat actually feel GOOD on the frog's feet, even when it would normally be objectionable or scary!

One more thing we can do, just purely with touching, is to mix it up. If she is not reacting well to you touching near her breasts, change course and work on her thighs near her pussy or take the "back door." This would be like, instead of raising the temperature on the hotplate, instead direct a blow dryer at the frog or feed it some tasty hot foodto raise its body temperature.

Any other important basic principles?

Touching makes her horny, which lets you do more, which makes her more horny, which lets you do more, which..... that's the basic idea. Remember this: If she is horny enough, she will do ANYTHING. This is getting into LMR, which is a big topic of it's own.

This is evident from the above, but to make it super-clear: avoid triggering her guard! You can only do incredible feats of physical escalation when the time windows are OPEN. Never try to do massive touching when the window is closed. Strike while the iron is hot, never while it's cold. Again, you can risk being sloppier toward the end near the tipping point.

In case this wasn't clear, the escalation is made of many small steps. At each step you evaluate her reaction and decide to advance or retreat at the next opportunity. If she ever reacts badly, or even starts to kind of maybe possibly show physical signs of discomfort, STOP ADVANCING and go back a few steps.

Push your boundaries and "go crazy" to test things, but ALWAYS monitor her reactions carefully and only "go crazy" one step at a time. Never push past her discomfort or resistance.

Fun fact: Effective earlobe stimulation is powerful as it can remove, during the duration of the sensation, her will to resist just about ANY touching ANYWHERE. Strange but true.

Reading all of this, it seems a far cry from the image I had of a super-caveman guy who touches like crazy...

It will actually sometimes look like that to an observer, but that's only because she has given you a lot of high points to work with and you have set your anchors properly. It's never indiscriminate - at first, especially, it is very measured and precise...in order so that it can get really crazy really fast!!!

All questions and comments welcome at (address corrected) amanojacktokyo@yahoo.com

Continuing in series from the previous posts...

All right AJ, this all sounds great, but can we get back to the "correct" way to do the first touch? Continue with the guidelines!

OK, here's a critical one I've mentioned only briefly before. Never look at your hand! Keep strong eye contact with her. Looking at your hand is creepy, wishy-washy, shows lack of confidence, indicates you're asking permission to touch her, and shows it's not a nonchalant, casual, normal thing for you. It's terribly bad for so many reasons, just don't even think about doing it! Meanwhile, your eye contact works to attract her and make her feel your presence even more. She should feel a rush when you do this.

How can you touch her arm when you aren't looking at it?

This can be kinda tough since you're totally focused on her eyes, but what I used to do is, just as I was getting next to her I would note the position of her arm. After a while this will be second nature and you can do it without thinking.

Any special way you touch her on the arm?

Nearly flat palm, firmly and authoritatively, yet warmly, for about one (1) full second. I always touch on the lower to mid part of the upper arm. Of course have a big smile of confidence as your first impression.

OK, I think the first touch is pretty much covered. How do you escalate it as the pickup progresses.

First of all, make no mistake - kino progression IS the heart of the pickup. Everything else basically serves kino escalation, not the other way around. You're CREATING those high points through what you say and do in the pickup, SO THAT you have windows to kino her more and more intimately...all the way to sex.

So, for instance, how do I touch her the next few times after the first one?

The next few touches will be to cement the anchor you started building with the first touch. Generally follow the advice given in so far and stick to the arm, then the shoulder and then lower back.

How long should these first few touches last?

About 1 second at first, according to how long her peak of good feeling lasts. Don't let it slop past that feeling peak. The first few times it really benefits you to time it carefully so the anchor is well established. Then that anchor will serve you for the rest of the sarge. Later on they can last 1.5 seconds or so, but these numbers aren't going to help you as much as a common sense feel for it. Always watch her reactions carefully. The first signs of discomfort if your touch was too invasive can be very subtle, especially in Japan. Moving away from you is a not-so-subtle one, in which case you've got to tone it way back for a while and be extra careful reestablishing the anchors from square one. Ideally, just find a new girl.

Please give an example of a standard kino escalation order

My personal one, thoroughly field tested to get the majority of my 140+ lays, starts as

Upper arm, shoulder, lower back, upper leg.

Do you keep all these to 1-1.5 second each?

Yes, and maybe up to 2 seconds later on, right up until we're accelerating toward the kiss. If I'm moving toward the kiss (and in Japan, the kiss is where last-minute resistance and the end-game begin), I might be touching her quite a lot, knowing all the sloppy touch timing will mess things up if I don't get to the kiss soon. It's a trade-off where I risk prompting her anti-slut alarms but in exchange I get increased horniness from her. This trade-off is advanced and risky if you push it too far! Caveman-style (never means forcing!) is a type of touch where you can get away with sloppiness like crazy by creating the right frame, but that's a topic for another time.

Do you ever keep your hand on her leg or back?
When I'm about to do the kiss I might, but not before. See above where I talked about slop factor. When you keep your hand on her somewhere, it implies all kinds of things, and so you better be ready to make good on it fast (read: within seconds)!

What about holding hands? Doesn't that build comfort?

I never touch their hands except to compare hand sizes if I'm really running behind schedule in the touch escalation game and need something to fall back on. Same with thumb wrestling - it's very much Plan B for situations where, for example, she's not having enough high points for me to give contact on.

I find holding hands activates anti-slut alarms and makes girls uncomfortable because it's giving off romantic/provider vibes that seem to her to be incongruent with your fast escalation. Don't worry, if you want a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship your best chance of getting it is always to lay her as fast as permissible (the great thing is that you now have many of the tools that allow you to control what she finds permissible).

Basically, the rule of "no slop" means no continuous touching! At least not until late in the pickup.

What about after the upper leg?

Then you're nearly in last-minute resitance (LMR) and should generally be kissing her. I'll leave that for an LMR discussion.

What about touching other areas? Face? Hair?

Just before going in for the kiss would be fine, but not early on. The touching escalation is designed to give you

THE GREATEST INCREASE IN HER HORNINESS FOR THE LEAST INTRUSION

Touching the face is pretty intrusive to many girls, and it doesn't usually do that much for horniness. Hair is not intrusive, but it also doesn't make them that horny usually and it also tends to gives relationship or provider vibes too early (before sex is too early - it's highly inefficient, chance reducing behavior).

What about kisses on the cheek, head, hands, and so on?
I never kiss girls until the full-on makeout, at which you've entered LMR. Kissing anywhere else really clues them into your game plan and does little for horniness UNLESS it's the earlobe and it's not really identifiable as a "kiss." Once you've kissed them on the cheek or something, what can she tell herself to combat her anti-slut alarms?? For me, it makes getting the makeout 10x harder. She shouldn't ever have a conclusive hint at what you're planning until you do it.

To be concluded soon. Questions and comments welcome at amanojacktokyo@yahoo.com

Continuing from the previous post...

Won't she find it odd at some point that you're touching her a whole lot, even supposing she's feeling good every time you do it? Won't she still find it intrusive?

Yes. Yes, she will! And as long as you follow the Frog-On-A-Hotplate Principle (explained later) this just helps you even more, because of something called the Cialdinian Consistency Principle. This basic principle of persuasion psychology simply states that the more you can get a girl to acquiesce to (generally by inciting her desire), and the faster you can get her do it, the more she will justify to herself that it's because you're so great and because she is so attracted to you. Is this counterintuitive or what!

In other words, she'll find it very ODD that she's enjoying getting touched so much by you and so fast and so intrusively, and the odder she finds it (while still allowing it) the more quickly she will fall for you. That's why girls that don't mind being touched - although generally a big help - can sometimes put up unexpected resistance later. The Cialdini effect is not working on them much because they are not breaking with their conditioning much.

Girls that don't like being touched are HARD to touch-escalate properly, but if you do, look out! She'll tend to fall for you hard and quickly because she's never felt so good being touched by someone before, and she's likely to subconsciously justify that she must be very attracted to you and you must be very special.

[Take a few minutes to consider the amazing implications of the above.]

What happens if the contact spills over to after the surge of good feelings has subsided?

This weakens the anchor by diluting it with neutral and even negative feeling associations. Even worse, it makes her feel like you're touching her too much and even if she likes it she's still obligated to object. Then a bad precedent has been set and all future touching is potentially suspect. In a later post I'll cover what to do if you make that mistake at some point. Note also that later in the pickup, you can and actually want to be less careful and "messier" - to a degree.

So I've gotta watch pretty carefully to make sure she's really in that good feeling spike when I touch and get in and out in time?

Yes, at first the tighter your physical contact timing the better, for the reasons explained above. Later in the seduction some slop factor is OK, and if this takes all your concentration time that will also be bad, but this is what you should shoot for, realizing that touch is one of the most effective weapons you have to get with the woman you're after. (Use it well and use it responsibly.)

What else does this first touch accomplish?

- Makes you more "real" for her
- Lets her know very viscerally that you are a sexual being
- Gets her horny...especially as you touch her more
- Shows leadership of her
- Shows confidence and warmth (I've had girls tell me they laid me because I was kind, and when I asked them how they knew I was kind they often say "from the way you touched me at first")

In summary for this segment, touching her correctly early on will actually imbue your touch with the power to make her feel good every time you touch her. On the simplest level, if someone feels good every time you touch them, what does that imply about their feelings toward you?

This series fits into the category of "fundamental knowledge and understanding of the principles of pickup" as explained here: http://amanojack.your-japan.com/post/22/421

Knowing how to touch a woman at all stages of the interaction is something no man should be without. Today I begin a series covering the basics and theory of how touch works in pickup and how and how not to use it. The articles follow a Q&A format, and I'll also open the forum up to additional questions at each stage.

When do I first touch a girl?

For an arranged meeting (introduction from a friend, Internet first meet) it should be with the first greeting. For other situations, it should be at the first opportunity (her first "high point" - see below).

Why at first greeting/opportunity?

She will accept that that's just how you are, so won't read anything too much into it or the rest of the physical escalation that's coming...at least not until she's too horny to care.

What if she doesn't like to be touched?

Touching on the arm briefly is pretty non-invasive if done correctly (see below), and assuming she is happy to meet you it will happen while she is in the grip of a positive feeling anyway. From then on, anchoring (see below) ensures that she WILL like to be touched by you.

What is the "correct" way to do the first touch?

Today I'll start in on the standard advice, exhaustively field tested to be highly effective. Throughout the series this will be frequently interrupted by explanations of theory, so that you can think and use it for yourself rather than being reliant on rules and instructions.

Rule 1. If an arranged meeting, touch her as you say the first greetings. If not an arranged meeting, touch her the first time she is clearly in the grip of a positive emotion. Try to find the timing where she reaches the peak of that feeling and confine your touch to start AND end within that peak time window. Laughter is usually the most obvious peak, and we all know from personal experience that we go into a slightly altered (positive) state for a brief moment when in the grip of sincere laughter.

Why does the first touch have to be during the peak of good feelings? What does that do?

I know you said "first touch" but I'm going to run with this and explain it for touch in general. I'm no NLP expert, but I do know that this works eerily well. First, if you are so inclined, read what an anchor is here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anchoring_%28NLP%29

More simply, when you touch her during the peak of the positive emotion, she begins to associate your touch with positive feelings. After a few times of doing this carefully, you can touch her even when she's not in the grip of a good feeling, and it will feel good to her and she won't know why.

The "she won't know why" aspect is key. It's mysterious that for some reason - especially if she usually hates to be touched - she finds your touch to make her feel really good. See what this implies to her subconsciously? Who else's casual touching feels inexplicably good to her?

Maybe I can see what you mean. Like when I have a girl I really like...if she even holds my hand it feels so good for some reason.

That's exactly it. Love, attraction...these things are all created most powerfully when a person doesn't know WHY it's happening. If you show her how amazing you are and how handsome, etc., she will naturally be attracted but part of her remains defiant. With anchored touch it's the opposite.

I think that's enough for today. Please ask for clarification on anything. The implications of what I've said so far are pretty major, so feel free to check and object and ask about what if's.

Over the last three years, the number of men worldwide who consider themselves "pickup artists" or apprentice PUAs has grown immensely as the pickup culture has started to hit mainstream. This is potentially a very good thing for many men (and women).

However, when anything goes mainstream it tends to get watered down, distorted and eventually defiled. Only the most marketable "quick fix" aspects survive. Only the ideas that are pretty close to what people grew up with really reach acceptance, until finally we're left with only a marginal improvement over the status quo.

The modern man of 2007 is spoilt for choice in what school of pickup to study. Unfortunately, this is not such a great thing, as almost all this material is restricted to what is sellable and marketable. This means more flash than substance, more familiar ideas less mind expansion, more platitudes less in-your-face truth.

Yet despite all that, you - dear reader - have stumbled upon my page. It's not terribly comprehensive, nor very flashy or well-written. What I offer here is exactly what you won't get from most of the other pickup resources out there: substance, hard-to-swallow truths, simple ideas that work and let you apprehend the reality of situations for yourself, letting you see the forces at work and giving you the power and clarity to move your interactions with women exactly the way you want them to go.

But all this is too abstract, so let's take a look at the following pyramid. This represents how I got to be how I am now and how much importance each factor has in my success. Like the Food Guide Pyramid, the base of the pyramid is the most important while the tip is generally of little relevance or sometimes even harmful.

Self-esteem, confidence, lack of negative baggage - these are what powers a truly successful person of any stripe. Self-discipline and drive to succeed are also essential in any endeavor.

In this particular endeavor, knowing why you are in it and why it is right and good for you to be doing every single thing you are doing is absolutely indispensible. There are moral issues to be thought through carefully. There are societal mores to be deconstructed and re-assessed. There will be tough situations where if you haven't taken the time to understand why (and whether) what you are doing is best for everyone involved, you WILL waver. And that tiny hesitation or uncertainty will hold you back every time until you take the time to sort these concepts out in your mind.

Sexual confidence is also a major one. Not everyone has this, but the guys who do are the ones that really end up enjoying this lifestyle and running with it, because they know they are doing the world a lot of good by increasing the pleasure in it (provided they're doing so responsibly). Sexual confidence also covers over many weaknesses in general pickup technique.

Together these concepts are sometimes called "inner game." I don't like the word "game" in this context, but this is the common name for it among seduction community folk.

Now I think any PUA worth his salt could have told you about "inner game" and would agree with it all himself (still many seem to consider it a side issue...it is in fact central and pivotal). However, what the community of late has - as a whole - egregiously neglected is the next slab of the pyramid: basic knowledge and understandings. The very most bread-and-butter concepts like "rocks and gold," Cialdinian consistency, "girls want more nicer hearts," the baseline of resistance, restricting her motivations for seeing you to the sexual, the imagination principle and many other fundamental and transforming ideas. These great pieces of wisdom and windows into the female psyche give a man what he really needs: a view to the REALITY of what is happening in all his interactions and the tools with which to control that reality so that have can use pure reason and logic to figure out what to do on his own.

Such an enlightened man can, without even knowing any tricks or tactics, make his own tricks and tactics on the spur of the moment because he can actually see what is happening rather than just stabbing in the dark. He doesn't need anyone to tell him a technique for turning a friend into a lover, for instance, because he understands how and why he is stuck in friend zone and has all the information and tools he needs to find an efficient way out. He sees all the potholes on the seduction path and simply walks around them, because he can actually see where he's going. My blog is intended to be the proverbial lamp that lights the way, so you can make your own decisions. It's not going to be "one killer technique" or "33 golden gambits." It's simply illumination and tools so that you can make your own skilled maneuvers and know how and why they worked and how precisely to use and refine them next time. This is how the successfull PUA's skills develop. They are organic rather than tacked on, hence far more powerful - and he doesn't even know the meaning of the word "calibration" for it is not needed because he has two eyes of his own and can see what he is doing!

Any other place you can find information of that sort of illuminating nature - rather than flashy tricks to try - and it's coming from someone highly experienced, it is extremely valuable. There are other places than this blog, perhaps, but they are hard to find. I encourage the reader to seek them out as well, simply keeping in mind what I said above. No great teacher, no matter how flashy of moves they teach you, should keep you in the dark and reliant on them.

This enlightened pyramid is in stark contrast to what most of those who have recently discovered the community have ended up with. The "light for your path" described above is not very marketable with brief sound bites about "52 super techniques to floor her" or "20 ways to boost your value in her eyes." What happens when you ignore the fundamental in favor off all the empty flash and gimmicks? Honestly? It's not all that bad. You get guys who have a lot of fun going out and learn to be "cool social guys" and get laid a little more than before and get more confidence. That's all well and good, because they are at least better than where they started.

However, the dream of getting with hot women on a consistent basis perpetually seems just out of their grasp. They sure are getting a lot of interest from girls, and seem to be hitting all sorts of breakthroughs, but once the rush wears off there isn't all that much improvement. They still watch other guys who seem to have a lot less going for them - even guys who the girls don't seem as attracted to - end up with the finer hotties like they were flowing from a magical tap. Then they figure, "just a little more calibration and I'll be there, just a few more better techniques..." It just don't work that way! See the inverted and mangled pyramid below, representing the average products (men) turned out by most of the seduction community in the last 3-4 years.

They are focused on PERIPHERALS, like having their shoes shined and their cars spotless, looking "cultured," demonstrably being connected with famous people, having the right color wallpaper in their house. These concepts the easiest to market, and have been by men's magazines since the printing press was invented. This is in fact AFC (average frustrated chump - the community word for people who know nothing of pickup and have little success) territory, absolutely. In fact the whole "pyramid" is in danger of being crushed under the weight of all that - frankly - bullshit.

Next come tricks, tactics, gimmicks, etc. These include stuff that helps in opening and initial interaction like palm reading, magic, etc. Some of that is harmful, some can be helpful if the fundamentals are lacking, but very little of it has any significant value when compared with the lower slabs of the pyramid proper. Now tactics ARE very important sometimes, but being taught tactics is not so much. The successful guys will NOTICE tactics because they can see the road in front of them and are consciously searching for a way. Lo and behold, they find it, and they refine it through experience and under "good illumination." The frustrated apprentice gets taught tactics and tricks, uses them haphazardly and gets partial results. These partial results excite him, but no or few lays occur. This can go on for months, years...and he may never notice that he's hobbling around like a blind chicken with one leg,

The "skills" area is relatively equal on both pyramids, provided plenty of experience is had. This is the only reason the average frustrated PUA really gets any noticeable boost to his sex life from before (besides the obvious factor that now he knows pickup is possible and doable, which counts for a lot by itelf). These skills help him, to be sure, but he is always feeling he needs more calibration. Not surprising because he is still shooting in the dark, just with a better gun!

He always wonders when his big breakthrough is going to come. It could come by accident, when he discovers great efficiencies through sheer luck. But for most this seems to take years. For me it took a few months, but only because I had....yup, you guessed it: access to the knowledge and understandings (reading material from online mentors) that would light up the whole reality for me and lay bare for me the truth in my interactions with females. I knew what I saw and tested my reality, thereby quickly finding the hidden efficiencies and shortcuts while skirting the pitfalls. In the average frustrated model, this would-be foundation is reduced to an anemic leg, actually festering with the pustules of misinformation and mal-understanding (which I am not good enough with Illustrator to draw).

The inner game is perfunctorily there, and some come to the community with more of it than others, but for the majority it remains a weak and meager support mechanism to hop about on, directionless, rather than a rock of solid strength they can push back against when plans falls through and times are choppy (happens on the way to almost every lay!). Instead of building this chicken foot into a massive cornerstone of support, the frustated trainee seeks out more peripheral irrelevance, more tricks and tactics to cover over that weak core.

Only after years of trial and error does he perhaps finally build his skills and confidence and understanding so much that he can go to soar with the eagles. This is wonderful, and all respect to those who do this path. But if you are not there yet, I'd ask you to take a look at these two pyramids and understand what to focus on to get to success FAST. Anyone with decent inner game will reach extremely high levels within 3-4 months IF they have the right material to read, the points of light that show them the way so that they can reason for themselves.

This is in many ways better than even what experience can offer, especially given the time and expense. Experience is paramount of course, but keep in mind that I made my big transformation simply by reading the right material over the course of a few months. The very first chance I had to use it, I took it and had unbelievable success (relatively) over my former performance from Day One in the field, with zero experience. Of course, experience added on the final boost, but knowing where you are going and seeing what is actually going on in the normally obscured world of male-female interaction gives you a simply unbeatable advantage. I hope this blog continues to help people gain those understandings, starting with this overall understanding of what separates the guys who do OK from the guys who soar in this field.

After 6 years in this lifestyle, it's not often that I come up with a highly effective new method that I'll actually use myself. But this summer I found just such a technique:

The sexual state phone call.

The idea of sexual state has been around for as long as men have been horny, and has been formulated as a seduction tool by Gunwitch and others in the seduction community. I've created an expanded interpretation of sexual state, partially outlined here.

The main difficulty with using sexual state is most guys can't turn it on like a switch. They'll flow into and out of states in random and haphazard ways, with results to match. And when they are in great sexual state, they might well be home in their pajamas and in no condition to go out and utilize it.

When every thought of hot women makes you boil over with lust, there is another option. You can just pick up the phone and start dialing.

Dial one of your regulars up first to warm up the voice. Try to persuade her to do something unusual for you by talking in super-sexual tone and never letting up no matter what she says. Stretch all the syllables out in as deep and soothing a voice as you can manage. Let your sexual state show through all the while. Of course always stay positive and confident, which means no verbalizing this directly either.

Once you get to calling random girls you've been trying to get to meet you, they'll object in all kinds of ways. They'll try to talk about something else and you'll continue with the super-sensual voice. They may ask what's up with the voice. They may ask if you are horny, or if you are "tired" or whatever they can think of. Ignore it all. Simply don't respond to anything that isn't related to what you want.

And what do you want? Her at your house, now! Let yourself go crazy with the voice, little by little escalating it. Basically you are doing the sexual state pickup, but on the phone. And why on earth not?! Men pay $4.95/minute for 1-900 numbers where women of unknown appearance will talk dirty to them, and men are much less stimulated by voice than women are. You can get a girl very hot and bothered over the phone, even if you've never met, or even if she wrote you off as a lamer in the past. Suddenly you're this guy, up in her ear giving her these hot feelings.

You can really pull some coups with this. By that I mean, if you've been doing pickup for a while you know that girls tend to fall by the wayside if you can't get them to meet you within a few weeks after picking them up. These girls are very hard to turn around, because the pattern is so set. They are "always" busy, even if you invite them out every week for a year. It's rare to get a turn-around out of one of these girls. But this phone technique can do that.

You might dial up some random girl that has nearly forgotten about you. She may be asleep and in a daze because your call woke her. She may be watching TV with her cat. She may be sitting around being lazy. In any of those cases, when the very first words you say are painted with that luscious, optimistic, gentle-yet-powerful sexual voice, she will within a matter of 20-30 seconds have her own state begin to alter. Within a few minutes she could be as horny as you, and you could be wrestling with her to comply with your demand that she come here right this instant.

Wrestling with a girl is right where you want to be. This is a good thing. If it's really totally out of the question, she won't SAY so, she will just refuse to participate in the escalation at all. That's why you start with regular conversation - in a deeply sexual tone - and wait for some indicator that the feeling is seeping into her. She might just soften up a bit. If she was asleep she may do this nearly instantly, since her mental state is highly fluid upon waking and she has trouble judging fantasy from reality. Once she gives any indicator, you can ramp it up with more sexual tone, demand things, say you want to see her, and optionally go into a story or something to build her horniness by making her imagine things.

Always remember to be constantly imagining what you want to happen (her there with you, naked and doing whatever it is you most want). Use whatever imagery works for you as representing the ideal result, whether that be your cock in her mouth, your two naked bodies sliding against each other, her face writhing with pleasure, you making out with her, etc.

Demand her to come now. Most of the time she will simply be unable to comply, but you want to push the boundaries. But take note that you do not even acknowledge her frame. If she has work, don't to tell her to skip. Definitely don't argue why she should skip. Just keep telling her to come and that you want to see her right now. If she's sleeping, don't tell her why she doesn't need the sleep, just keep pushing on the hot button of what you want, keep tempting her with your voice, until you get her going as far as possible. If she even thinks for a second about skipping work to see you, you've accomplished something major. Next time you call, you can build on that.

I find with these sexual state phone calls I can get girls to come from remote locations in Japan just to see me. They just eventually crack that way, after 3-4 calls like that.

Do, of course, end the call first and on a high note (common sense), provided you can't get her to come right away. Try to get her to comply to something. Get her to agree to come meet you. Then get her to agree to a day or timeframe when she will come.

The great thing here is that instead of the flaking dynamic with which more people familiar - where the more you try to get her to meet, the more things stale out - with this method the more you try to get her to meet the more things heat up.

I'd also recommend not discussing actual sexual stuff, because it will take too long from that time to the time you meet and the immediate lust will have worn off by then and she'll often feel boxed in for having seemingly promised sexual stuff would happen, but not at that moment being horny (as she's on her way there). That is a very uncomfortable position for her to be in, as I think any woman would tell you, and she will not want to comply with anything at that point.

Just let it be that she is coming to meet you, and that is that. The rest is implied only with your tone of voice.

Try it out on a girl you aren't that into and see what happens. Even if you have to pretend, remember that acting is just a way to steal the frame from yourself. That practice will help you maintain the frame when talking to her and getting her to comply with your demands to come over.

Using this only a few times (calling multiple girls each time in series), I've gotten at least 12 girls I thought were long-gone to commit to meeting me (many living very far away), and so far 3 of these have led to lays that I had ppreviously written off as slim-to-none chance of success. Give it a try!

Perhaps it was Ross Jeffries, the great pickup sage of old, who coined this phrase. It's a good maxim for life, based on the old Golden Rule. But it's ESSENTIAL if you are going to get into the pickup lifestyle.

I know many are here just looking for ways to have less handicaps with women, so they can get a nice girlfriend, wife, or maybe try out some fun adventures just so they can say they did it and have no regrets when they are older. Those people will find what they came for.

Some guys, however, want to be able to have many women and live a high-rotation lifestyle with a lot of sex with a lot of hot women. There are two ways to do this, based on my previous post.

1) Be Mr. Pimp - a guy who uses women and learns how to get them to put out fast and has no regard for them later. If you go down this path you may get many, many women under your belt, but you'll be damaging them and yourself in the process. Guys with sincere hearts soon figure out that something is wrong with this lifestyle and end it, believing they aren't cut out for this "pickup" stuff.

2) A guy who has the same skills and understandings as Mr. Pimp, but instead uses them out of the pure desire to give women pleasure and happiness. He may and probably will lay chicks as fast as possible, since this is the surest way to avoid them running away before they can experience what he has to offer, but he takes responsibility for always leaving chicks better than he found them. This is the harder road at first, but down the line it's the only one that can really be maintained without becoming, frankly, an asshole and a chronic user. Keep in mind that this type of guy may also have very high numbers of women, such as 20-30 per year, although maybe not quite as high as Mr. Pimp because Mr. Pimp will have one-night-stands and get into girls he only has interest in for a single night. But I would think a hot new women every two weeks is enough for just about anyone who is really taking proper care of his women and seeing them a decent number of times before letting things fade out.

Most guys assume the pickup lifestyle is about #1 above, but it's only that way if you choose it to be. I've met some guys in Japan who have had many hot women, but they are lively primarily under the Mr. Pimp frame, and hence they feel deep down they are just wasting their time in life and they'll show really depraved attitudes about women at certain times. They also tend to attract low-self-esteem girls.

The reason I've been able to keep this lifestyle up for 6 years and not get burnt out or bitter is because I have (mostly) stuck to option #2.
Are you saying, "So what? That's the least of my problems. First I just want chicks to put out for me and stop screwing ME over." Well, this is the most relevant thing for you still. It's what underpins all that we've talked about.

If you are an evil bastard already, you can continue that way and get lots of chicks and use them and such, and if that is your definition of success, you'll do fine.

The problem is, I think most of my readers are not evil bastards. They are good people who want to make one or more wonderful women very happy. This is their core personality. If they go against this and try to be Mr Evil-Pimp, they will always stall out in the end, usually before they can taste any real "success" at all. Ironically, many techniques are the same whether you want to be good or evil, at least on the surface. But your basic personality underpinning all that is where the strength of these methods really comes from. If you are a good person, you will only have real success if you can work out in your mind WHY you want to have this lifestyle and why that would be a good thing for you AND for all those you come in contact with. Do not sweep this part under the rug. Think carefully, for as long as it takes to determine how or even if it would be a truly good thing for you to pursue. If you aren't 100% certain that you would increase the happiness in the world by beginning this lifestyle, DON'T.

I still think people look at me, whether on this blog or in real life when I am "on the pull" and think, "That guy must have a flippant attitude about women, and couldn't really be making them happy in the long run." Many girls think this especially, until I explain it to them. That has led to us having sex more than a few times! The reason is that I fully believe in what I'm doing and have 100% committment to it. That is what allows me or anyone else to have sex with many women without burning out and having to sour search all the time. I love what I do, because I love women and they love what I do for them.

And guess what? It's not always smooth sailing. I've made some mistakes and on occasion failed to leave them better than I found them. In these cases I always do my very best to follow up and remedy the situation. If it's a girl I layed once and there were just no sparks flying at all, I will still see her at least once more just to give her that respect of not doing a one-night-stand. If I ever ended on bad terms with a girl (VERY rare, but it happens), I will keep checking on her and making sure she recovered OK, and if not I will talk to her and meet her and make every good faith effort to set her back to normal, for as long as it takes. The reason this rarely happens is I am very careful how I manage relationships so as not to create painful break-ups in the first place.

Why go to these lengths? Just so I can feel like a good person at the end of the day? Not just that. These things, however unrelated they seem, are what keep me going strong year after year. Think about it: whenever I approach a girl I don't just have to pretend she is better off with me than with any other guy she is likely to find, I KNOW it. I know she is going to come out of whatever interaction we have better than how she came in, and quite possibly a whole lot more sexually satisfied than she ever has been before, and knowing that gives me my confidence and my congruence.

If aren't sure why you're in this, you should not be in it. I have said this lifestyle is not for the lazy. It is also not for those who refuse to understand their own motivations. It is not for those who don't have a definite positive purpose in the world in taking this lifestyle up. Think, friends. Take a sincere look inside yourself and sort out these issues within your own mind. Just like with overcoming last-minute resistance, if you don't have your position fully figured out and fully justified as being right, acceptable and good for you, for her and for the world, none of this will work and you'll go around in circles always looking for more and better techniques. Conviction that you are right and doing good will make approaching a formality, girls will open automatically, you can use all techniques will full confidence and congruence, and you can lead with certainty all the way to sex and into whatever relationship
you wish to pursue.

And all this without learning any new techniques, just by looking at yourself and deciding 100% where you stand and why.

Top: Masculine Man - Primarily for the Girls' Pleasure (succeed through sexual state based on horniness of desire and excitement about pleasuring her)

Fantasy - her having the time of her life at your hands even though no one else will ever know. Private giving of pleasure. De-emphasis of blowjobs, of pure pleasure of viewing her naked, and of other pleasure YOU'LL be getting from her. It's always about achieving a great connection where you BOTH enjoy it incredibly, but it's coming from a place of you giving to her and her receiving with ultimate joy.

You can hold off cumming because you aren't in it for that, and after you cum once you can continue much more easily because your primary purpose is in no way finished. You wish to pleasure her until she simply can't take any more.

This level is about self-discipline, self-control, and being a real man. What is being a real man? What are the defining mental characteristics of a man? Being in control of yourself, lack of self-indulgence (a feminine characteristic)...these are very central characteristics of a man, although we have forgotten this as a society.

This level therefore asserts as its worldview that a woman's job is to receive pleasure, to be indulged under the man's lead.

Other benefits: Healthier hormone balance, deeper voice, more kakkoii's from J-girls, easier to do pickups, more self-discipline in all areas of life, more life drive, easier to manage relationships, less likely to get in arguments with chicks, pickup lifestyle remains very easy to maintain, sex is an ever-increasing source of pleasure.

Mid: Feminine Man - Primarily for Your Own Pleasure (still can succeed through sexual state based on horniness of personal desire to see her body, get your dick wet in her, etc.)

Fantasy - Getting to see her naked, 69-ing her for the great view, getting a great blowjob from her, feeling her super-soft pussy wrap itself around your steely cock, cumming in her mouth / on her face, threesomes, booty call mentality...besides the last one, none of these things are inherently bad and they are in fact all part of the top level, but NOT as the focus. In this mid-level these elements ARE the focus, while her pleasure becomes a side dish. You want to see her horny and happy, and you'll make efforts to pleasure her to a degree, but do not go all out.

When you have cum once you notice your desire to continue is massively curtailed, as your main purpose has been achieved. Therefore you are in little position to give her great sex.

This level is about self-indulgence, an inherently feminine trait. If you base your pickup around this, you'll little by little paint yourself into a corner with all your chicks and it will damage your success with increasing severity at all levels...as you essentially become a girly-man! This level is easy to slip into, even if you started out at the top, not just because humans tend to be lazy, but also because women do not generally understand their role and this will cause your frame to wear down over time as you are exposed to many different women, unless you consciously and deliberately reinforce your top-level frame as you go.

This level therefore asserts as its worldview that a woman's job is to give pleasure, to indulge the man. Hence the "booty call" mentality. Note that girls who naturally allow themselves to be booty call girls create a dangerous temptation for the man at the top level. But there's no problem as long as the man ensures it's a booty call for her, not him :) In other words, booty call girls are great as long as you can remain committed to giving her awesome pleasure every time she comes, sending her home extremely satisfied and walking on air for the next few days because of it (top-level).

Other detriments - possible damaged hormone balance, higher voice, laziness and lack of control in all areas of life, difficulty in managing relationshps, getting in more arguments with chicks, losing your meaning and purpose in life, (ironically) not enjoying sex as much over time, and risk slipping into the lowest level (see below).

Low: Desexualized Dude - Primarily for Validation from Others (motivated by fear and feeling of emptiness, lack of pear acceptance, desire to create envy in others, rooted in low self-esteem...no sexual state - HA!)

Not even coming from a place of horniness or excitement in the pickup. It's pickup divorced from it's reason for being: hot sex (whether primarily for her pleasure or for yours). Ouch.

Fantasy - showing up other guys by walking arm-in-arm with your trophy girls, having people think of you as the scoring machine, the guy who gets all the hot chicks with little effort.

In this level sex itself is not that important and probably not that good unless by fluke. Many guys in this category will being interested in making girlfriends more, because sex just doesn't interest them that much. They more desire validation and perhaps security.

Really, at this level things are so screwed up that any number of strange problems may result and the pickup lifestyle is in grave danger of collapsing on itself under the weight of myriad failed relationships, fights and bitterness. Either that or Mr. Pickup Artist continues with this, addicted to the peer validation and warm chummy relations with other guys, and simply becomes more and more of a fucked up character as his life progresses.

My aim in pickup is a 90/9/1 ratio of top-to-mid-to-low motivation.

In other words 90% of my motivation should come from desire to pleasure the girl I am picking up. My excitement about the amazing pleasure that's in store for her is the primary driving force in my sales pitch to get her to come home with me.

9% should come from my own desire to get pleasure. A significant factor still, which I will enjoy in the margins as a side dish - the fruits of my efforts to pleasure women in general.

And 1% should come from validation from others, as something I never focus on but it sits there in the background reassuring me in any time of weakness. When I am really on the ball, I am always careful to deliberately keep this element extremely low by not telling others I meet in real life about my abilities, etc. I know if this element is growing out of hand whenever I notice I'm having trouble breaking it off with a really hot girl that I know it's time to stop seeing. At times in my life I've succumbed to the urge to keep her around a little longer because it's just so great to see the look on other guys' faces, but that is BAD! I strongly advise making every effort not to indulge yourself like this if you intend to continue this lifestyle.

Note that I'm definitely not saying it's wrong to desire pleasure from girls, to want to see their hot pussies spread out in front of your face, to feeling their velvety tounges wrapping around your member. I am saying that you want to show self-discipline and enjoy those things in the margins, knowing that if you just focus on their pleasure you'll have way more than enough pleasure for yourself. Focusing on their pleasure will, over the months, build you into a super pickup artist who gets all the benefits of all these levels in spades and enjoys it more and more all the time, as you are truly making the world a better place through purely positive, happy interactions with the people in it. Heck, you are even making it better for the next guy as the girl will be better adjusted and more ready for great sex with him, and less tolerant of bad sex and his self-indulgence.

The basic plan is always the same: get to sex ASAP. Recent posts elucidate great ways to go about this.

More important is WHY. Why approach? Why "get" a girl? The answer for me is, "to set up the basis for giving her amazing pleasure and maybe later a fantastic relationship." To do this, in present society around the world, it's generally required that men get to sex with the girl ASAP first, just to get it out of the way so they don't fall into friend zone or worse.

That's why the blog was formerly titled "Get Girls." For me it's never been about just "getting girls," it's about what I do after I get them. However, the ways and means of getting girls are the focus of the blog, and I leave readers to decide what they want to do after that. I trusted that guys would hold to the maxim of "always leaving them better than you found them."

Given that the title could confuse people and attract guys who just want to "get girls" and use them, leaving them worse off than before, I've decided to change the blog title to something more fitting. Guys that just want to get trophy girls or get their dick wet first and foremost will find little of real use here, because the methods espoused will ensure that your agenda sabotages you along the way, at least often enough that you'll turn to more calculating pickup methods propounded elsewhere on the net.

It turns out that WHY you are interested in "getting girls" is closely connected with what kind of girls you'll end up with, and with what rate of success.

The most basic element of success with women and relationships is the desire and commitment to give happiness, pleasure and love and knowing that you have a lot to give. Once you've had sex with a girl it's not usually hard to keep her for as long as you want (as long as you treated her well, YOU clearly enjoyed it and the sex was GOOD). So the issue of giving love and happiness, while of the utmost importance later on, ironically have little effect on whether you actually hook up with a given girl and get into a position to give her those gifts.

So we are left with one critical element for making the hook-up happen - before you even approach her or get hot for her or anything. That element is simply your desire, will and commitment to giving her the time of her life in bed.

This is the gift you bring to her. You are not "getting" her pussy; she is "getting" the benefit of being with you. In terms of sex, SHE is the primary beneficiary of the interaction, and you are the secondary. Who knows if she is a good lay or not? But you know that YOU are a fantastic lay (if you really are). She might not know this right away, because people are not very intuitive, but the point is you have no interest or intention of taking anything from her, only of giving. Plus you know what you're offering is amazingly good.

This conviction - and the confidence it gives you - is what underpins the whole pickup and indeed the whole lifestyle of getting sexual with many fine women. If you are out there to give, and you know your gifts are truly awesome, your success is literally unlimited.

I started off this way, which is why I progressed very fast when I found the right methods, and how I knew to avoid the bad methods. It's all too easy to think you are in this for all the hot pussy and T&A you get to see, touch and taste, the jealous stares, the personal validation. Especially the first one is very good to enjoy, but it is critical to realize that NONE of these elements can come anywhere near your desire to pleasure the girl! The moment it does, the quality of the lifestyle takes a massive hit. It creeps up on you. People just naturally get lazy. This lifestyle is not for the lazy. It's for those who are committed to making women happy, through sex and whatever other way they want to. Those that follow this will become very happy themselves, because you get back what you put in. Those that don't follow this will either burn out very fast and hurt people along the way or they'll burn out slow and live a meaningless and tragic life in this regard. Learn to have great sex, commit to it, and you'll have the strength to press through any kind of interaction.

Many have asked for a clearer and more comprehensive guide to my email template, first published in March.

Here's the protocol I've been following for staggeringly low flake rates.

1) Meet girl, get contact info (preferably with commitment to meet again)

2) Send the following message just before 10pm the next* day

*but skipping Fri and Sat...so 10pm Sunday night for all girls met Thurs, Fri, and Sat is cool

Below is a photo of the template. Questions/comments: amanojacktokyo@yahoo.com へ

Hey guys, how're you all doing? Tried some of my ideas? Noticed any changes? Need some clarification? Mail your stories, questions and comments here:

amanojacktokyo@yahoo.com

People are held back tremendously by a multitude of tiny fears. These fears can easily add up to be a paralyzing force in picking up chicks, and in life in general. Here are three solutions to this:

1) Work out in your mind, in advance, why it is totally OK, and right, and good for you to be doing what you want to do. (If you conclude it is NOT, don't do it.)

You want younger girls? If you have any qualms about it going in, you're not gonna do well. Moral qualms, the fear of bystanders' reaction, the fear of her parents, etc. Well then it ain't gonna happen! You gotta determine in a very definite way that it's OK, good, and right for you to do it, OR that you just don't care and the rewards outweigh the risks.

2) Expand your thought-action space. Whenever the idea to do something pops into your head, ask yourself if it scares you to do it. If it scares you - and it is not actually dangerous - DO IT. As you're out walking around, ask yourself, "Is it scary if I do THIS?" "Would it be scary if I did THAT?" Start small, expanding your thought-action space in little ways, and work your way up.

Example: You notice for some reason you are not making eye contact with people as you're walking by. It's a habit, and you've probably long forgotten the reasons why you do it. It's now just a bit scary to make eye contact. So, the moment you're outside and you notice that, start doing it. Make eye contact with every single person who naturally comes into your view. Notice that nothing special happens, except maybe they get scared and look away.

Now let's say you can make eye contact with everyone, but you can't smile or allow yourself to look approachable while doing it. This is a common one for guys who've been in Japan a long time, as we learn that doing this causes random people to talk to us, and out of annoyance we gradually shut it out by not looking approachable. You asked yourself if it was scary if you continue making eye contact and add in a smiling face and approachable air. You found that yes, the thought does scare you, so...you....must...DO IT, and do it right now.

Now say the thought pops into your head to "accidentally" brush or lightly bump into people as they're passing. Scary? Then DO IT. Notice nothing bad happens.

Each of these moves builds your confidence and gains you momentum to do more "scary" things. It comes in less obvious forms, too. Say you're bicycle's brakes squeak loudly all the time. If you're in a crowded area does it scare you to engage the brakes hard? Immediately DO IT. People make look at you, but notice nothing special happens. But before that, you may have been riding by a chick who you wanted to approach, but you felt it too awkward to engage your noisy brakes. Now you can, and this change took 2 seconds of your time to make!

This is one way to "grow some balls" - gradually.

In the case of younger girls, perhaps you can ask directions from most people, but not from younger, hotter girls. See one? DO IT. You can touch most girls on the upper arm when they laugh, but have this irrational fear of in the case of younger girls. They laugh - DO IT. Can you get in trouble for this? Is it actually dangerous to you in any way? Of course not. Have a little balls and live a little!

3) The Secret (search it on You Tube or thesecret.tv)

Know what you want, determine that it's OK, right, and good for you to want and have it (see #1), and then put the law of attraction into action by visualizing what you want, doing it with passion, totally enjoying the feeling of already having it exactly as you want it. This passion will destroy the fear and simultaneously attract what you want to you.

There are many ways to apply it. Try going out today and "attracting" a makeout. Notice how thinking about making out with chicks on the street makes it a lot easier to do the exercises in #2 above, and also makes it simple to decide your course of action with each girl.

Questions? Comments? amanojacktokyo@yahoo.com

このブログは外国人のためだけかと思っていたんですか？！

「いやでもきっとこんなワザは外国人しか使えないはず・・・お姫さま抱っこなんて・・・」

そんなことないよ〜！

むしろ日本人だからこそ他の日本人から差別化できるし、日本人なので親密になりやすいし、話術をさらに使いこなせるし、まさに自由自在に口説き落とせる道具が使えるのはやっぱり日本人vs日本人です。

あ、でもそこで落とし穴もあって要注意！話しすぎて論理などに紛らわされてセックスをどうしても忘れがちだ。

第一の基礎：あなたは男、相手は女。しばらく一緒にいると、自然な結果はセックス。先史時代の男達はほとんど考えずにほとんど努力せずにセックスしていた。女は十分ムラムラになったらアナタともエッチしたくなるのは言うまでもない。国境を越える普遍的な原理なので絶対にお忘れなく！

外国人にとってこんな話が飲み込みにくいなら、日本人はなお更だろう。技術だけで大きな変化はできない。必要なのは理解と信念を変えることです。そうしないとどんなに優れたワザでも無駄。

何の理解？何の信念？まず・・・社会から、雑誌から、映画から、テレビから、家族から、友達から＊、女自身から、聞いた男女関係や「ナンパ」についてのことをすべてすっかり忘れてください。

＊いい女を自力でたくさんゲットしてきた友達や知り合いのアドバイスに限って貴重な資源なので捨てないでくださいね！

できるもんかって？

これができたらそれだ